(This is an excerpt from my Science Fiction/Comedy novel in progress -- The Adventures of Danger Dave, a story of Galactic Exploration and High Adventure, produced and broadcast by 21st Century Weasel Entertainment.)

By Rick Carlson

"Hold on," said Dave. "I'll be ready to go in a few minutes, but first, I must boldly go...to the men's room."

"If he makes that 'Captain's Log' joke one more time," whined Maria, "II swear I'll jump out the nearest airlock."

"But then you'd miss lunch," replied Dave with a smile.

"What's on the menu?" she asked.

"Let's see...Chinese Tex-Mex or Monrovian Fruit & Cheese Balls, according to today's menu."

"That airlock is looking better and better."

"Why don't we eat out?"

"Where?" asked Maria.

"Who?" asked Gus.

Maria gave him a dirty look, and Dan simply ignored him and said, "I know this great little place. You'll love it. Besides, it was recommended particularly for today."

"What is is called?" asked Maria.

"Mom's Old-Fashioned Kitchen."

"Maybe some other time. I think I'm in the mood for something cheap and easy," said Maria.

"Now you're talkin'!" said Gus.

"Back off, Bubba. I'm not that easy." Maria replied. "Or cheap, for that matter."

"Madam, would you care to join me for some sleasy grease burgers at the platinum pillars?" Asked Gus, holding out his arm for her to take.

Much to everyone's surprise, she quickly accepted and hauled Gus down the haul to the hangar bay.

A few seconds later, Dave emerged from the bathroom looking fresh and rejuvenated.

"Well, Dave," said Dan, "looks like it's just us fun-lovin' boys. Shall I introduce you to Mom's down-home cookin'? I believe we're destined to show up for an early dinner."

"Sure," said Dave, "Why not? Go with the flow, I say. You fly, I buy?"

"I'll do both. Let's go."

And they were off, although one was a bit more 'off' than the other.

Some time later, Dan sets his speedster down light as a feather in front of a quaint old house straight out of an ancient history books or a Thomas Kinkade painting.

Dave walked right into the door when it completely failed to open automagically. Dan suppressed a chuckle, reached forward, and pulled the screen door open, then pressed the latch on the inner door and pushed it inward, bowing to Dave like a grand butler.

"Come on in, boys. Don't forget to wipe your feet and hang up your coats," said a white-haired lady as she walked out of the kitchen.

When she looked up, she smiled from ear-to-ear and said, "Danny! How wonderful to see you. It's been ages! You don't call, you don't write. If it weren't for that tele-whatsit contraption, I wouldn't know if you were alive or dead. You might die of starvation! Look at you, all skin and bones! Don't they ever feed you up there? Now, go wash up, both of you. With soap - don't make me tell Butch to drag you back there again. So, this is the infamous Danger Dave, a.k.a. Deadly Doright? Nice to meet you, Davey. You two just have yourselves a seat, and I'll be with you in a jiffy. Dinner's not ready yet. You two done come early, but no matter. I'll whip you up somethin' in no time a 'tall. Run along. Hurry up. I ain't gettin' any younger, you know. Washroom's over yonder - back wall. Shoo!

Dan led Dave to the bathroom. Inside, Dave marvelled at the ornate porcelain sink, hand-crafted tiles, and general ambiance of the bathroom.

(to be continued soon…)

Copyright © 1999-2003, Carl Erick ("Rick") Carlson. All rights reserved.