(This is an excerpt from raw notes of my Science Fiction/Comedy novel in progress -- The Adventures of Danger Dave, a story of Galactic Exploration and High Adventure, produced and broadcast by 21st Century Weasel Entertainment.)


Notes Transribed - 02

By Rick Carlson


10/11/2001 1:00 am Home (21 Treeside Ct. South San Francisco, CA)

Tagline: Galaxy Quest meets The Truman Show meets Reality TV meets Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Book cover: a collage of different elements in bright colors, in the style of 1950’s SciFi. Includes these essential elements: spaceship, coffee cup, pizza, analog clocks with many hands, our Intrepid Hero, the Villain (with a knife about to plunge into our hero’s back), the Network Weasel (cartoonish), laughing smiley faces, Pun Police car, pies, and a monkey.


10/11/2001 2:00 am Home (21 Treeside Ct. South San Francisco, CA)

Finished reading “The Forest for the Trees,” six hours plus BART train and local bus ride this evening, plus about ¼ of the book read he previous day. A definite keeper for future reference. It inspired me to write down the entry above, at 1:00 am for the Sales Pitch (tagline) and jacket (book cover) design. I felt inspired to work on overall plot, but couldn’t put the book down to do it. I simply HAD to keep reading. Now that I am done, I want more. I even took time to search the Internet and read archives of online chat sessions with the author. I definitely want to get a current mailing address for her to send a personal Thank You letter. (transcription note – 12/30/2007 11:10 am – never followed up on that, but just found the book this morning when I found the notebook that I am currently transcribing).


10/11/2001 2:20 am Home (21 Treeside Ct. South San Francisco, CA)

Time for bed. I get up in five hours. Check dotster.com for new or renewal domain names – dangerdave.com, info, etc. (transcription note – 12/30/2007 11:12 am – I just checked dotster.com for domains – BEFORE reading this entry – how ironic…or is it? Maybe there ARE no coincidences, after all!)


10/11/2001 8:34 am BART – Colma station

After reading “The Forest for the Trees,” I’ve decided to note more specifics of the origin of each journal entry, especially now that I’ve adopted the habit of writing more than just direct quotes or other Danger-Dave specific fodder. It’s slightly foggy now that the train is at Daly City station (8:37 am). The cloud stops at the coastline, but the sea level fog continues, making the waterline barely visible as a subtly different shade of white.

8:40 am, Balboa Park station.

The grapefruit dude is reading a book. I refer to him as the grapefruit dude because the left side of his face, from the edge of his nose to the edge of his eye, past his eyebrow and all the way down to his jaw has swelled up like a grapefruit. His condition hasn’t changed noticeably in weeks, and he does not appear to be in pain, so it’s more like The Elephant Man.

8:45 am, 24th Street and Mission station

The girl behind him, in the side-facing chair, is quite attractive. She reminds me of Jody Foster in Candleshoe, but about 21 years old.

8:47 am, 16th and Mission

The BART stops are closer together here than on most of the BART system, due to the congested housing and businesses in downtown San Francisco, where real estate is at a premium price with no place to expand except into the water on three sides.

8:48:30 am, Approaching Civic Center.

This car now has about a dozen or more passengers standing.

8:50 am

More standing, now that we are at Powell St. station.

My stop, Montgomery, is next. Time to stop writing.


10/11/2001 10:00 am

Eating a hot dog from Mustard’s Last Stand on thee 2nd floor, in a cubicle that was occupied only a week ago. He was laid off because they moved responsibility to SIAC (Securities Industry Automation Corporation) in New York. On To Happy Town.

Raw materials: after entering the lobby of the adjoining building, with its wall of marble, I wondered about materials – rocks and such, that may only be found on Bambi’s Planet. Perhaps the original inhabitants of Bambi’s Planet were the Ancient Astronauts, Missing Link, or maybe the Mayans or Atlanteans. Perhaps they all just up and left because their scientists predicted that the star would explode “soon.” Bambi’s Planet is very similar to Earth, in fact a similar planet – gravity, plate tectonics, large moon – all very similar, except Bambi’s Planet has a 25-hour day cycle.


10/11/2001 10:11 pm, computer room at home.

A curious human culture arose on Bambi’s Planet – sex in the workplace and brutal honesty in public. The only proper response to “wanna have sex?” is your honest reaction – you’re too fat, I’m too tired, etc. Saves a lot of wasted time and mind games.


10/12/2001 8:45 am, BART sunny day

Beautiful ocean view this morning! “As you are no doubt aware, we are in the moving business. We move money from our guests to ourselves and back. How much money moves back depends on a number of things: the odds of the game, the stakes, the amount of skill or luck required and possessed by the players and the representatives of the house. Also, there are special discounts or other incentives to lure new guests, reward frequent visitors, or just get publicity. The bottom line is: we maintain our bottom line. The specifics don’t matter. We adjust as needed to keep the money flowing. As in book publishing, were 90% of the sales come from 10% of the books, you can’t just go with the high 10% because you don’t know in advance which ones those will turn out to be until after all the figures are in. You learn what works and what doesn’t, and you adjust as needed with the dynamics of the situation. 8:57 am


10/12/2001 11:22 am Pier 39 Sea Lions, San Francisco

The sun on my face, noisy sea lions barking incessantly, or at least those in the water trying to find an empty spot on the floating platforms. Based on past trips, I estimate about 900 of them, basking in the warmth of the sun, including one large female on her back, flippers spread wide. She just rolled over. Beautiful pelt.

11:27 am

I talked with three young (early-mid 20’s) men from The Netherlands and a 66-year-old disabled heavy-set man with a cane, whose ancestors moved from Russia to Germany, then out here to the west coast. He also had some Dutch background, apparently. The stocky one of the three asked if I had been to the Netherlands after I said I was stationed in Germany. He seemed a tad disappointed when I said I had not, but I told him my first wife was in Belgium, so I went back and forth between them (as opposed to simply not wanting to visit his country – I had a good reason to have missed that chance). I then mentioned I drove a Hyundai on the Autobahn, which was like driving a riding lawn mower – faster than trucks, slower than BMW, Porsche, etc. – always changing lanes, like a computer game. I mentioned Danger Dave – Galaxy Quest/Truman Show with Spin Control (Planet Vacua). They all laughed, including the old man.


10/12/2001 4:28 pm BART

This book is a work of fiction…for the moment. In the Grand Scheme Of Things, however, time will pass, and these word will be interpreted / received as Future History. You, dear reader, are an active player on the stage of a long-term play illustrating the Grandfather Paradox of Time Travel. These events will have taken place in the distant future, although not necessarily from the current timeline. Time Travel is not only possible, it is unavoidable / inevitable. The Video Tape model allows for an infinite number of timelines where nobody has the last word. Everything can be a “do over” but you (or some of you) have to live through the first pass before you go back. The video tape is not random access. It is sequential, but can be rewound and re-recorded again and again and again…4:40 pm.


10/13/2001 6:02 pm Denny’s Pacifica, CA

The problem with being an arms dealer is that there is no guarantee that the person who buys your guns and ammo won’t turn around and shoot you with them, regardless of the weapon is a nuke or a straw wrapper across the table.


10/13/2001 8:52 pm Borders at Stonestown Mall

Write “Biography of a Computer Geek.” People would like the “rags to riches to rags” story of someone like me who witnessed and helped the computer revolution unfold, but merely watched it pass and lived a normal life (without actual riches).


10/15/2001 3:25 pm

Currency Exchange – someone will keep a bank on board the starship for crew and passengers to exchange currency (or credit) for local shopping in places where barter doesn’t work or is inconvenient.


10/15/2001 5:48 pm Tower Burger

How many Flarnacs do you get for a Galactic Standard Dollar? For that matter, what does a Galactic Standard Dollar represent, and is it even practical?


10/15/2001 8:17 pm Borders

Reading “Get Your First Book Published,” pp 178-179, Champion Books entry.

Shameless self-promotion – multimedia and text readings / excerpts posted to the appropriate news groups and web sites with links to the book’s web site. Develop a following. Create a thread that will be picked up by Google, Lycos, etc. in archives. Publish short, “flash” fiction – first, to F&SF magazine, then online.

Also, continue Humorous Haikus.


10/15/2001 11:06 pm in bed

“I’m confused.”

“I’m not – not anymore. I know who I am, what I like…and right now, I like you. That doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with your brothers.


10/15/2001 11:15 pm

The casino hotal allows guests to play even from their rooms. All games were accessible, or at least viewable from the bed or table/desk. You could even play Blackjack from the bathtub, if you like using only voice commands. What a life! Some guests did not like the loud casino noises, and others simply did not wish to be seen in public. They might be wanted by law enforcement, fans, or ex-wives/husbands, or probably all three.


10/17/2001 6:13 am BART->work

“Do we have time for Star Lucks?” asked Dave. “I could sure use a jolt of caffeine and chocolate right now.”

“What about the ship’s coffee?” asked Dan, neatly dodging an asteroid. “Why can’t you drink that?”

“It’s just not the same,” replied Dave. “Why are you flying your Space Hog on manual control instead of using auto pilot? Same reason – it’s just not the same, is it?”

“Touché, but there is a difference. The last time I let Otto take over, he missed the wormhole exit and we got lost in the Badlands of Betelgeuse for a day, whereas you just want to be waited on by a hot barista. Oh, and today is a German holiday and Otto refuses to work, anyway.”

“I resent the insinuation that I try to pick up baristas.”

“Never works, does it? At least, not for you.”


“Just kidding, Dave. Besides, I overheard one of them the other day…”

“Anyway, I was saying, Dan, that it’s more than the need for human interaction. It’s also a way to catch up on local news and gossip – the kind that doesn’t come from the GMEN.

GMEN: Galactic Media Entertainment and News – the primary corporate entity that controls the major news outlets for the masses, where ratings rule over reality. Conspiracy Theorists have attempted to link the GMEN with various governments on Earth and elsewhere. They claim the acronym GMEN really stands for Galactic Mafia Enforcement Network, who they claim are one and the same. Curiously, those Conspiracy Theorists that were vocal about that link had statistically anomalous shortened lifespans, but that’s just a coincidence. It’s stress, I say – all that paranoia can’t be easy on the body, especially with families to worry about, as well.

[Chronicler’s Note: as most of you, dear readers, have no memory of the past futures and alternate timelines, I shall bring you up-to-date as the story unfolds.]

10/17/2001 6:36 pm BART->home

Remove; “one word…” start with:

ACTION! The galaxy needed a hero.

Time is like that ancient, archaic recording device called a video tape. It can be recorded only in a forward direction. It can be rewound to a point in the past, then played (in read-only mode), or re-recorded, writing the same or different content. This recording is also permanent only until someone in the future decides to rewind and record all over again. Nobody ever gets the last word.


10/21/2001 10:52 pm in bed

“I’ve experienced every mode of transportation known to exist, at least known by me,” including a variation of the Zaphod Beeblebrox Bubble Entrance, although that was merely for show.


10/25/2001 4:55 pm Starbucks, 369 Pine Street Kiosk

Attitude is everything. So many of life’s problems can be solved, or at least better handled, by adopting the proper attitude. This is not to say that the “proper” attitude is, or should be, the same attitude at all times for all people. Casual apathy and righteous indignation both have their proper places and times, but not necessarily the SAME places and times for everyone. The Universe is driven too much by chance to take it all too personally, but not enough to abdicate personal responsibility.